The Haunted Mansion attraction has some very memorable dialogue in it, especially the Ghost Host saying “Welcome, Foolish Mortals” and Madam Leota’s séance.
Here you will find the full Haunted Mansion script for the ride at Disneyland and for the ride at Magic Kingdom in Disney World. This includes the stretching room, the Doom Buggy narration, the graveyard, Hitchhiking Ghosts, and Little Leota.
Disneyland and Disney World have similar scripts, but there are a few differences between them.
Disneyland Haunted Mansion Script
Ghost Host (this narration starts when guests enter into the Mansion’s foyer)-
When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still — that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!
(Guests move to the stretching room)
Ghost Host-
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now. Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.
Cast Member (wording can vary, but is typically this)-
Please drag your bodies away from the walls and into the dead center of the room.
Ghost Host-
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! (Laughs.) Of course, there’s always my way.
(After this you’ll hear thunder, the lights go out, there is screaming, then a body hangs from a noose above you. The doors open and the lights go on)
Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, “look alive,” and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please.
(Guests then move into the hallway)
There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts all over the world. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here — but there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers? (Laughs.) If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer.
And now, a carriage approaches to take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural.Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.
(Guests get into their Doom Buggies)
Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please. (This is then repeated in Spanish)
(You move into the Corridor of Doors)
During Haunted Mansion Holiday at Disneyland, the attraction uses a different script featuring Jack Skellington. You can read the full Haunted Mansion Holiday script here.
Ghost Host-
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhh, listen!
Man in coffin-
Let me out, let me out of here!
(You’ll hear knocking and ticking, then move into Madame Leota’s room)
Madame Leota-
Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever they’re at! (sounds of ghosts)
Rap on a table — it’s time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond… (knocking on table noise)
Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine! (tambourine sounds)
Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond! (Brass instrument plays part of Grim Grinning Ghosts)
Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell! (bell ringing)
(Doom Buggies enter the ballroom)
Ghost Host-
The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later. (organ plays theme music and portraits shoot at each other)
(Doom Buggies enter the attic)
Bride-
In sickness and in… wealth. You may now kiss the bride. We’ll live happily ever after. Till death do us part. Here comes the bride. As long as we both shall live. For better or for… worse. I do. I did.
(Doom Buggies go past the Hatbox Ghost, out the attic window, and enter the graveyard)
Ghosts- (they sing the following lines)
When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake,
Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Happy haunts materialize and begin to vocalize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
Now, don’t close your eyes and don’t try to hide,
For a silly spook may sit by your side.
Shrouded in a daft disguise, they pretend to terrorize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
As the moon climbs high o’er the dead oak tree,
Spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes start to shriek and harmonize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell.
Restless bones etherealize, rise as spooks of every size!
(Doom Buggies enter the Hitchhiking Ghosts Corridor)
Ghost Host-
Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention — beware of hitchhiking ghosts!
(Doom Buggies pass the mirrors showing a Hitchhiking Ghost in your Doom Buggie)
Ghost Host-
They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return! Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home! (Laughs.)
Female Safety Announcer-
Please exit to your left by stepping away from the cars with your left foot first. Step out and stand on the moving platform.
Male Safety Announcer-
Please exit by stepping away from the cars with your left foot first. Step out and stand on the moving platform, please.
(Guests exit their Doom Buggies and stand on the moving conveyor)
Ghosts (singing)-
If would like to join our jamboree,
There’s a simple rule that’s compulsory.
Mortals pay a token fee;
Rest in peace, the haunting’s free.
So hurry back, we would like your company.
Little Leota-
Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate… if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We’ve been dying to have you…
Disney World Haunted Mansion Script
Ghost Host (This starts when guests enter the mansion’s foyer) –
When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still — that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!
(Guests move to the stretching room)
Ghost Host-
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host. Our tour begins here in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now.
Cast Member (wording can vary a little)-
Please drag your bodies away from the walls and into the dead center of the room.
Ghost Host-
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there’s always my way.
(After this you’ll hear thunder, the lights go out, and there is screaming. The doors open and the lights go on)
Ghost Host-
Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, “look alive,” and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please.
(Guests then move into the hallway)
And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please.
(Guests get into their Doom Buggies)
Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights. (This is then repeated in Spanish)
(Guests move into the Library)
Ghost Host-
Our library is well-stocked with priceless first editions — only ghost stories, of course — and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all retired here, to the Haunted Mansion.
Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers?
(Doom Buggies move into the Esher Staircase Room)
If you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour.
(Doom Buggies move into the Corridor of Doors)
Ghost Host-
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills. Shhh, listen!
Man in coffin-
Let me out, let me out of here!
(You’ll hear knocking and ticking, then move into Madame Leota’s room)
Madame Leota-
Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever they’re at! (sounds of ghosts)
Rap on a table — it’s time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond… (knocking on table noise)
Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine! (tambourine sounds)
Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond! (Brass instrument plays part of Grim Grinning Ghosts)
Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell! (bell ringing)
(Doom Buggies enter the ballroom)
Ghost Host-
The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later. (organ plays theme music and portraits shoot at each other)
(Doom Buggies enter the attic)
Bride-
In sickness and in… wealth. You may now kiss the bride. We’ll live happily ever after. Till death do us part. Here comes the bride. As long as we both shall live. For better or for… worse. I do. I did.
(Doom Buggies go past the Hatbox Ghost, out the attic window, and enter the graveyard)
Ghosts- (they sing the following lines)
When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake,
Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Happy haunts materialize and begin to vocalize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
Now, don’t close your eyes and don’t try to hide,
For a silly spook may sit by your side.
Shrouded in a daft disguise, they pretend to terrorize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
As the moon climbs high o’er the dead oak tree,
Spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes start to shriek and harmonize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!
When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell.
Restless bones etherealize, rise as spooks of every size!
(Doom Buggies pass into the Hitchhiking Ghosts Corridor)
Ghost Host-
Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention — beware of hitchhiking ghosts!
(Doom Buggies pass the mirrors showing a Hitchhiking Ghost in your Doom Buggie)
Ghost Host-
They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!
Little Leota-
Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate… if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We’ve been dying to have you…
Ghost Host-
Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home! (Laughs.)
(Guests exit their Doom Buggies)
Ghosts (singing)-
If would like to join our jamboree,
There’s a simple rule that’s compulsory.
Mortals pay a token fee;
Rest in peace, the haunting’s free.
So hurry back, we would like your company.
Haunted Mansion FAQ
One of the most famous lines is “Welcome, foolish mortals,” spoken by the Ghost Host in the stretching room.
They are Phineas, Ezra, and Gus. They appear near the end of the attraction and may follow guests home.
The scripts are very similar, but there are differences in the order of some lines and scenes because the attractions are laid out differently.
She is the floating head inside the crystal ball during the séance scene. She calls on spirits to materialize using a series of rhyming incantations.
Conclusion
The Haunted Mansion has some of the most memorable dialogue in any Disney attraction, from the Ghost Host in the stretching room to Madame Leota and the Hitchhiking Ghosts.
If you want a shorter collection of the attraction’s most memorable lines, check out these Haunted Mansion ride quotes.
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